An Officiant for All Occasions by Vanessa Larkey

One of the cool things about getting married in a non-traditional setting is creating your own wedding ceremony.

One of the stressful things about getting married in a non-traditional setting is creating your own wedding ceremony.

In reality, I’m very excited to ‘produce’ my own wedding. It’ll be like putting together a live television show where anything can happen.

Apparently I look like a character in a Katherine Heigl rom-com when I'm field producing. 

Apparently I look like a character in a Katherine Heigl rom-com when I'm field producing. 

An integral part of the ceremony is the officiant. This person is the host of the event, and needs to keep the pace movin’ so guests can start boozin’. It’s a huge undertaking, and Peter and I want an officiant that reflects our values, engages the audience, and has a connection to the both of us.

WHO WANTS TO BE OUR OFFICIANT?

Family Comes First

Our first stop? Family. Peter's relative is a minister, so we decided to reach out and see if he’d be comfortable performing a non-religious ceremony (and by ‘we’ I mean we asked my future mother-in-law to put out a feeler).

The long and short of it? No, he would not be comfortable performing a wedding ceremony without some peppering of religion.

In hindsight, I don’t know why I thought asking a religious person to perform a sacrament sans God would be a good thing. I also hadn’t really thought about  the amount of religion (if any) we would incorporate in the ceremony. I just kinda thought someone would say grace before the meal, and maybe sprinkle in a touching bible passage about love.

Friends with Officiant Benefits

We have a friend in mind that we’d like to use to perform the ceremony, but, it would be more of a ceremonial thing – signing of the paperwork would have to be done beforehand. I mean, people do this all the time, but does it take away from the big day? Isn't there something special about getting married on the day you decide to have your wedding celebration? Or, is this just something that I need to get over?

Officiant for Hire

Last week I enjoyed a lovely meal at Sneaky Dee's (still my fave Toronto bar 10 years later) with some friends who recently got hitched. When the topic turned to officiants, they highly recommended the dude who married them. He was easy to work with, and was very helpful in tailoring the ceremony to reflect their values. He also bought them chicken fingers, and if you know me, free food can easily sway my opinion. 

I think right now Peter and I need to talk about what we want from our ceremony, and go from there. It'll make choosing an officiant much easier. 

 

We Have a Venue... Now What? by Vanessa Larkey

We have our venue! So… what’s next? Luckily, Pinterest is here to guide me. According to multiple infographics, my timeline over the next few months looks something like this:

12 Months

Book a Venue

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, GOT THE CONTRACT SIGNED! But in all seriousness, if you’re looking to get married in Toronto, I’d suggest booking your venue as soon as possible (read: over a year in advance, especially if you want a summer wedding). 

Draft Guest List

Peter and I drafted a guest list before we started looking at venues. It's pretty self explanatory -- you should base your venue choice on your wedding guest numbers (and budget, of course!)  

Register

Is it really necessary to register a year in advance? I have no idea! I've never done this before. I'm also not sure if we'll register, period. We've lived together for over 6 years and already own a lot of stuff we need. 

10 Months

 Find Someone To Marry You

Otherwise known as an officiant. Is this really necessary? Are officiants in that high demand? 10 months seems awfully early to seek one out. I figure a lot of people get married at a church, which frees up other officiants.  

Choose Wedding Vendors

This timeline I get, especially if you're looking at a summer wedding. Florists, photographers, and hair stylists are in high demand. Even if you're relying on the kindness of friends, you'll want to make sure they're available to help out. 

Take Engagement Photos

Not sure how I feel about engagement photo shoots. More on this in a future blog post. 

8 Months

Order a Dress

That is, if you're using a traditional bridal store. According to salespeople, it takes a few months for the dress to be made/ordered/shipped, and then a few months for the alterations. I'm going to check out The Brides' Project before I look at more traditional wedding stores. 

 Block Reserve Hotel Rooms

Is this right? 8 months in advance? Again, I think if you're looking at a summer wedding this makes sense, but a November one? Nah. 

6 Months

Send Save the Dates

Again, 6 months seems awfully early. Maybe 5? We are doing everything virtually, so the save the date will be an email (or Youtube video, if I get my act together by then). 

Create Wedding Website

Easy to do, especially if you use Squarespace! 

4 Months

Book Rehearsal Dinner

Not sure if we'll have a rehearsal dinner. Instead, we'll have a dinner for out of town guests at Peter's parents place. 

Confirm vendors

Shouldn't your vendors already be confirmed if you've booked them months prior? I guess a follow up email never hurt anyone. 

3 Months

Send Invitations

Our invites will be virtual, so this timeline is totally cool with us. 

Bridal Shower

Sure! Sounds fun. 

1 Month

 Bachelorette Party

This will give everyone's liver a month to recover. Sounds good to me. 

And that's a wedding timeline according to Pinterest! Anything you think they missed? Please let me know if the comments section.