Managing Expectations by Vanessa Larkey

I may be frugal, but that doesn’t mean I DISLIKE expensive things.

In fact, I tend to gravitate towards pricy clothes, shoes, food, furniture etc. It takes a tremendous amount of self-discipline for me to NOT spend copious amounts of cash. Do I deserve a medal for that? No, but I’ll gladly take one if you’re offering.

So, why am I sharing this? It’s because we still don’t have a venue, and it’s partly (mostly?) because of my uncompromising vision, and uncompromising budget. If it were up to Peter we would elope. I’m the one that wants the wedding.

So! I’m left with two options:

A) Expand our budget

B) Manage my expectations

I think I’ll go with Option B, but it’s haaaaaaaaaard.

Do we cut down the guest list? Well, no. I want all of those people there. Do we have appetizers in lieu of a sit down dinner? How about a food truck? Is that marginally cheaper? Do we hold the wedding at the Scarborough Bluffs harbour? It’s cheap, but it’s reaaaallly out of the way. Do we say to hell with a venue and have the entire thing in my parent’s backyard? Will their backyard even fit 126 people? What about washrooms? People need to use the washroom!

Clearly, a lot is going on in my head, but the venues don’t make it any easier. From preferred cater lists, to charging a premium price for alcohol, to heritage taxes, the cost really, really, really adds up. Turns out financing a wedding and buying real estate are two ways a Torontonians can go bankrupt.  

I was recently in Halifax for work, and was catching up with an old colleague at our wrap party (I work in television). “I heard you’re married now.” He commented.

“Engaged.” I corrected him.

“Same thing. Do yourself a favour and don’t spend a lot of cash on an expensive wedding. But don’t listen to me, that’s just my opinion.”

Opinions. There is no shortage of those when planning a wedding. But I need to listen to the ones that matters the most – the people getting married. Two months ago I was determined not to spend lots of money on our wedding. Let’s get creative, Vanessa. You can do this.