An Officiant for All Occasions / by Vanessa Larkey

One of the cool things about getting married in a non-traditional setting is creating your own wedding ceremony.

One of the stressful things about getting married in a non-traditional setting is creating your own wedding ceremony.

In reality, I’m very excited to ‘produce’ my own wedding. It’ll be like putting together a live television show where anything can happen.

 Apparently I look like a character in a Katherine Heigl rom-com when I'm field producing. 

Apparently I look like a character in a Katherine Heigl rom-com when I'm field producing. 

An integral part of the ceremony is the officiant. This person is the host of the event, and needs to keep the pace movin’ so guests can start boozin’. It’s a huge undertaking, and Peter and I want an officiant that reflects our values, engages the audience, and has a connection to the both of us.

WHO WANTS TO BE OUR OFFICIANT?

Family Comes First

Our first stop? Family. Peter's relative is a minister, so we decided to reach out and see if he’d be comfortable performing a non-religious ceremony (and by ‘we’ I mean we asked my future mother-in-law to put out a feeler).

The long and short of it? No, he would not be comfortable performing a wedding ceremony without some peppering of religion.

In hindsight, I don’t know why I thought asking a religious person to perform a sacrament sans God would be a good thing. I also hadn’t really thought about  the amount of religion (if any) we would incorporate in the ceremony. I just kinda thought someone would say grace before the meal, and maybe sprinkle in a touching bible passage about love.

Friends with Officiant Benefits

We have a friend in mind that we’d like to use to perform the ceremony, but, it would be more of a ceremonial thing – signing of the paperwork would have to be done beforehand. I mean, people do this all the time, but does it take away from the big day? Isn't there something special about getting married on the day you decide to have your wedding celebration? Or, is this just something that I need to get over?

Officiant for Hire

Last week I enjoyed a lovely meal at Sneaky Dee's (still my fave Toronto bar 10 years later) with some friends who recently got hitched. When the topic turned to officiants, they highly recommended the dude who married them. He was easy to work with, and was very helpful in tailoring the ceremony to reflect their values. He also bought them chicken fingers, and if you know me, free food can easily sway my opinion. 

I think right now Peter and I need to talk about what we want from our ceremony, and go from there. It'll make choosing an officiant much easier.